


A Moment of Weakness

by Emmathelemur



Series: Dean and Cas like to Cuddle [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Comfort, Cuddly Castiel (Supernatural), Cuddly Dean Winchester, Cute, Dean Winchester Has Nightmares, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Destiel, Friends to Lovers, Heartwarming, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, Late night thoughts, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, feelings admitance, fluffly castiel, sleepy musings, speeches about humanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 09:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20486615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmathelemur/pseuds/Emmathelemur
Summary: Dean has had nightmares his whole life; dreams plagued by images of demons, Hell, and the fears of losing everyone he loves. Castiel may not have his grace to vanquish these dreams anymore, but maybe he can help provide Dean some comfort through the night. Maybe in each other's arms they can chase away the world that waits for them outside; it only takes one moment of weakness."As Dean watched Cas’ retreating back, slippers shuffling along the hardwood floor, a wave of emotion came over him. Exhaustion, defeat, loneliness; all crashed into him, leaving his chest aching, forcing the words he thought he would never be able to say out of his mouth.“Cas.” Dean saw the other man stop, hand on the door frame. “Stay. With me. Please.”"





	A Moment of Weakness

_The chains had rubbed his wrists raw, the links twisting around his body like a python strangling its prey. Of course, that’s exactly what he was. Prey. The demons cycled through, each with their own twisted version of torture for him to endure. Knives of pure heat cutting through his skin over and over again. Hell hounds that would bite at his heels, only inches away from tearing him limb from limb. Wounds that would magically heal just in time to be reopened, the cycle beginning again from now into eternity. Dean could hear the distant screams of thousands of others; sinners, enemies, villains, and those stupid enough to sell their soul for wealth and happiness. Dean was the latter, of course, sacrificing himself so his brother could live the life he deserved. _

_Dried tear tracks cut through the layers of ash and grime on his face, but now his eyes were steeled and jaw tight as he faced his true captor, Azazel. Bright yellow eyes peered at him through the dark smoke that seemed to fill the void around them. _

_“Hello again Dean.” He grinned, revealing glistening teeth reminiscent of that of a wolf. _

_“Douche-bag.” Dean replied, attempting an extravagant bow despite his restraints. The smoke in the air had left Deans throat raw, and even the single word forced a coughing fit. The chains tightened at his action, binding across his chest, forcing the remaining air out of his lungs. _

_“What will it be today Azazel?” Dean asked, regaining his breath, “Fire? Whips? Are you going to sing karaoke?” A small smirk came across Dean’s face at that last idea, but Azazel’s resolve remained unshaken. _

_“I have something new for you today actually,” he rebutted, mirroring the curl of Dean's lips, “that is unless you decide today is the day you give up?” _

_Dean raised his gaze, meeting the piercing yellow eyes that stared into whatever was left of his battered soul. “Never.”_

_“Alright then, let’s get started.”_

_\----------_

_“I was happy before you came back into my life, you ruined everything. I could have made something of myself if it wasn’t for you dragging me down with you.” _

_“Eyes up solider; you will never be what I wanted from you. You are a failure.”_

_The images circled around him, each sentence they spoke a dagger in Deans heart. He knew they weren’t real, demons manifested into the people he cared most about in the world. Despite knowing this, Dean couldn’t bear to look any of them in the eye, hanging his head in shame as they spoke the words Dean feared his entire life were true. He looked up to meet the eyes of his family. Before there had been a parade of all the people he let die; those he had promised to protect only to fail them. Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Kevin, Charlie… taunting him. After all, wouldn’t they all be alive and happy if they had never trusted him? Now only a couple of the demons were left, handpicked from his life to create the most pain, Dean was sure. A tear rolled its way down his cheek as the voice of his brother whispered in his ear again. _

_“It looks like the only thing you are actually good for is making the sacrifice play, actually.” “ Dean could hear the image of Sam laugh, the sound sending shivers down his spine. Dean silently cried, too tired to fight back anymore. The tears stung his skin, the words echoing in his head. “I’m better off without you anyway. I don’t need you, I never needed you.”_

_ Dean closed his eyes and begged to some ambivalent God that this would soon be over. He could feel the gentle brush of fingertips just under his chin, a much more tender action than Dean expected of a Demon. They pressed firmly upwards, forcing his gaze to meet stunning blue eyes. They were nose to nose, and Dean could feel every hot breath from the other man against his already burning skin. The man leaned in to speak, a deep whisper against Deans lips._

_“Do you really think you are worth saving?” I’m not coming for you this time.” _

_\----------_

With the unmistakable creak of the hardwood floors, the first thing Dean was aware of was the cold steel in his hands. Before he was even fully conscious his body had grabbed the gun from under his pillow and aimed it at perfectly the doorway of his room. Heart pounding against his chest, the sound of every beat drowned out most of the ambient noise of the room. Dean peered out into the darkness, eyes struggling to adjust to the minimal light coming from down the hallway of the bunker, to distinguish the vague silhouette of someone stepping into his room. His finger tightened slightly on the trigger.

“Dean.” Every fiber of Dean’s body relaxed at the call of his name. He fell back against the pillows and took in a shaky breath.

“God damn it Cas.” Dean brought his arm up to his face, covering eyes damp with tears Dean wasn’t aware were trailing down his cheeks. “I was this close to shooting you.” Dean sighed, tossing the gun to the other corner of his bed.

“I apologize.” Dean lifted his arm to watch Castiel take a few more steps into the room. He was dressed in sweatpants and a tee-shirt, much like the pajamas he had to borrow months ago when he first became human. Seeing Cas like this was still weird. The once powerful angel of the lord who could vanquish monsters with a look, reduced to a man with slippers and hair sticking up in all directions. It was an improvement at least to seeing him try to sleep in his suit and jacket. “I heard you yelling, and wanted to come and check that you were safe. However, I didn’t think it would end in me almost being shot.”

“Oh. Sorry man, didn’t mean to wake you up.” Dean sat up again, pulling his knees up to his chest, in order to look his friend in the eye. “Just a nightmare, you know? I’ll be fine.” This wasn’t the first time he’d accidentally woken someone up in the middle of the night; Dean rubbed the back of his neck remembering all the times poor Sam had been startled awake thanks to Dean’s nightmares. Part of the life of being a hunter he guessed. To save the world from nightmares, you have to take on a couple more.

“Do you wish to discuss it? I have read many articles on interpretations of the human subconscious, and I…” Dean was quick to cut Castiel off, insisting that he was okay without the in-depth analysis of his psyche. Reluctantly satisfied with that answer Castiel turned, likely heading back to his own room to get a couple more hours of sleep before then next morning. As Dean watched Cas’ retreating back, slippers shuffling along the hardwood floor, a wave of emotion came over him. Exhaustion, defeat, loneliness; all crashed into him, leaving his chest aching, forcing the words he thought he would never be able to say out of his mouth.

“Cas.” Dean saw the other man stop, hand on the door frame. “Stay. With me. Please.”

\----------

Castiel could have sworn his heart stopped beating all together at those words. He came to stand at the doorway to Dean’s room, frozen mid-step. Turning back, Cas could see the hunter huddled in his blankets, resembling a small child scared of the monster under his bed. His heart went out to Dean, all too aware of the nightmares he has. Years ago he used to walk amongst those same dreams, witnessed the horrible tortures Dean’s mind had crafted for him. If he had not been reduced to this human form, Castiel could have simply placed a hand on Dean’s forehead and vanished any trace of turmoil; at least for the night. He would give anything to spare Dean from reliving his memories of Hell again; if this was the way to do so, Castiel could not deny him some slight form of comfort tonight.

“Of course, Dean.” He replied, walking back to Deans bedside. The only sound was the shuffle of his slippers on the floor, emphasizing every step he took. Dean shifted over to make room on the mattress, absently smoothing the blankets as he lay back down. Cas noted that his hands still shook slightly. Lifting the blankets, he discarded his slippers before sliding into bed next to Dean.

Laying on his side, he could make out Deans face in the darkness, staring back at him. Still damp eyes shined in the light coming through the half closed door. Castiel reached out a hand to Dean’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear with he pad of his thumb. Dean was a proud man, never one to let his emotions take the spotlight, deciding instead to shove them deep down inside. Castiel was ashamed that it had gotten this far, to the point where Dean was beginning to break down right in front of him, without noticing how much of a toll it was taking on the man. Dean leaned slightly into Cas’ touch, thumb brushing against the stubble on his jaw. Dean curled in further, shortening the distance between them a little more, pulling his knees up into a fetal like position. Castiel waited for him to settle again before moving his hand from Dean’s face down to his arm. 

“Dean,” Castiel whispered, trying not to startle the hunter, “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened in Hell, and the effects it has had on you since, but your brother and I are here if you ever want to.” Cas considered stopping there, but the words kept rushing out of his mouth. The thoughts h no longer wanted to keep to himself. “You think talking about your emotions is synonymous with weakness. I have learned over the past few months, though, that these so called weaknesses are exactly what makes humanity so human. You break so easily, you feel so much, and yet…” Castiel felt a warmth spread through his chest, a feeling he only got thanks to Dean. A burning that he could not make go away, not that he would ever try to. “… and yet you have survived centuries, picking each other up off the ground and helping to piece everything back together again. The world has been against you from the start, and yet humanity is here living free lives; watching movies, driving fast on empty roads, eating junk food. I have watched hundreds of thousands of people hold hands, heal, and hope. But you Dean…” Castiel removed the hand that had been absently rubbing his thumb back and forth on Dean’s arm, placing it under his chin to force Dean to meet his eyes, “…you are all of this and more. You look into the eyes of the worst the world has to offer but dig your heels into the ground and fight back, just to ensure all those other people have the chance to do all of that. You are one of the bravest humans I have ever known, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders; you are allowed to be weak sometimes.”

Cas watched a parade of emotions work their way through Deans face; eyes wide, the slight furrow of his brow, the part of his lips that quickly pressed together again as if they were the last line of defense against a million unspoken thoughts.

Then Dean shifted closer.

\----------

Their first kiss was a mere brush of lips together as they pressed together.

Dean’s eyes opened slowly as they parted, unsure if he even wanted to meet the puzzled gaze of the man across from him. Not that Dean regretted his actions, hell; he’d been trying to resist kissing Cas for years now. Like Cas had said, he was allowed a moment of weakness every once and a while. Castiel didn’t seem to know how to react, intense blue eyes boring into his soul. Dean felt a knot tie in the bottom of his stomach, as what were likely only seconds passed at the speed of days. What could he possibly say that would end this eternity of staring at the man he loves, waiting to be pushed away? Should he apologize? Dean’s lips parted slightly, but the words got caught in his throat. Suddenly, Cas’ hands are on his face, pulling him into a deep kiss.

Dean froze for a second, eyes wide and limbs stiff, before he settled into the embrace. All he could feel was Cas’ slightly chapped lips, rough on his. He reached out and wrapped an arm around the other hunter’s waist, closing the remaining space between them, chests pressed together. Even this wasn’t close enough. Dean’s mouth opened just enough to take Castiel’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling gently. This action is rewarded with a quiet moan from deep in the man’s throat, muffled slightly by his mouth on Dean’s. Electricity ran down Dean’s spine, his hands griping the bare skin of the base of Cas’ back tighter. He would sell his soul to hear that sound again. 

They separate, foreheads pressed together, close enough that Dean could feel Cas’ breath against his cheek. Dean couldn’t help but remember his nightmare, where he found himself in the exact same position. This time though, Cas had already saved him, in more ways than one. Dean let go a little, those fears that his family and the ones he cared about so much were better off without him, melted away for the time being. Dean’s recollection of that nightmare began to get fuzzy, details fading away into the universe, like every other dream.

Dean’s attention is pulled back by Castiel across from him, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip before smiling softly. Cas' cheeks looked reddened, slightly sore to the touch thanks to Dean’s stubble. 

"If I had known that was the reaction I was going to get, I would have done that years ago." Dean grinned, bringing his eyes from Cas' wet lips to meet his. Cas chuckled breathlessly. He didn't even have to reply for Dean to know that he was thinking the same thing. Years of pushing down these feelings for Cas, gone in one moment of weakness.

"I think you should get some sleep Dean." Castiel replied, voice rougher than usual. Dean curled into Cas, tucking his head under the others chin. From here Dean could hear every beat of the very human heart inside Cas' chest, quickened by their previous activity. With legs tangled together and an arm thrown across his waist, Dean hadn't felt this safe in a long time. Protected from the world by Cas' embrace. 

"Will you stay tomorrow night too?" Dean asked, voice muffled slightly by Cas' chest. 

"Forever." Cas replied. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this gives you guys all those warm and fluffy feelings, I love a good first kiss story!  
Thanks so much for reading, if you liked it please leave a kudos!


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